Tag: loss

Wounded

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Woman sits on floor with her back facing. there are two larges holes in her back.

Even the largest of wounds can heal. In time you will be whole again.

Construction: Nikon D700, 50mm, f, 1/80, ISO 500. The floor was created out of a laminate floor palette arrange on my bedroom carpet. For the hole I used a broken vase and the warp tool in Photoshop to get the shapes I wanted. I used replace colour to change the colour of the vase to match my skin and did some burning on a separate layer to add shadows. I then used curves, levels and selective colour to create the tones I wanted and added a couple of textures.

Loss

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Loss

I’ve had two miscarriages this year, and I’m struggling. Both were missed or silent miscarriages, the baby stops growing but stays put. Both required surgery to remove them. It’s a lengthy process with multiple visits to the maternity unit, sat with very pregnant women and babies.

I feel sad. I feel numb. I feel lost. I feel lonely. There’s nothing I can do and it’s not my fault. I feel helpless. I feel like a failure.

Nobody talks about it. Nobody knows what to say when I do. It’s hard to talk about it. Writing it all down is therapeutic. It feels good to get it out. I could leave at this, but I think we need to be able to talk about it. So, I’m being brave.

25% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage. Currently my stats are 66%. Chances are you know someone. It’s hard to talk about. I almost feel ashamed. Why is it taboo?

I thought of this image after my first miscarriage, but I never finished it. I couldn’t. get to a place where I was happy with itI ‘m happy with it now. SO maybe this will be the start of moving on.

This is for the 25%, 50%, 66% or wherever you are in this process. I’m sending you love, courage and understanding. We’ll get there.

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